Pardise by the Dashboard Light

I left Chiang Mai because I had spent too much time in the North. I also figured that because of all my accidents something was telling me to get a move on. My destination was Koh Tao (Turtle Island) in the South of Thailand to do some diving since it's the cheapest place in the World to learn here. I estimated it would take me 3 days to ride the 1200 odd km

650 Km later that day I arrived in Ayythara, not far from Bangkok. I could have made the capital but the crazy traffic would have hampered many of my efforts to get anywhere. I found a small guesthouse and ate and slept to continue the onslaught south in the morning.

The next day my GPS persisted in taking me straight through the centre of Bangkok. The street signs didn't help since they all also directed me to Bangkok or told me to take U-turns to places I had already been.

I was nervous after my previous accidents, especially in traffic, always expecting someone to do something stupid. I used the horn a fair bit which probably upset and surprised the Thai's. I was also rather uneasy on the bike but made myself do little things to get back the confidence I had lost. Just riding over a kerb or doing a U-turn helped. Little things, baby steps.
Somehow I made it through the chaos and was on the highway heading South. Another 600km later and I arrived in Chumporn where I could find the night ferry.

I spend a good 2 hours trying to find the right boat which could take me and the bike. I asked drunken fishermen which way and how far to the boat. To be fair they were highly accurate on the directions, they just didn't realise that I couldn't get my bike onto a speedboat.

Just as it was getting dark I found the right boat. It left at 11pm that night. I headed to a restaurant to wait it out. Upon my return I bought a ticket for myself and the bike and was ushered down the ramp to park on the deck. This was the main supply boat for the island. It was filled with crates of beer, cola, food of every type, 10 tonnes of building sand, breezeblocks, generators and even a house. I anxiously watched 2 fuel trucks reverse onto the boat. If anything happened on the trip across we would be going up, then down pretty fast.

Jam Packed.

I expected to have to spend a night on the deck of the boat but amazingly there was a dorm with bunk beds. I managed to get some sleep before we arrived at 6am. I was turfed off the boat with my bike feeling rather groggy and confused.

I rode around the island as the sun rose to get acquainted and to take a photo of the dawn, something I usually try very hard to avoid seeing. I snuck into a 5 star resort where I picked up a couple of stray dogs for a change then realised I was on the wrong side of the island to see the dawn. I took a photo of a cloud and some crabs instead.

I met up with Dan who I had met on 4000 Islands in Laos. He had recently completed his PADI Open Water training which I also wanted to do. He suggested I go to a dive school first to sign up because most give discounts on accomodation. By 10am I was signed up for the 4 day course and billeted in a guesthouse.

That afternoon I commenced my training. We dived the next day in a shallow bay to put into practise what we had learnt. The day afer we went on our first proper dives to 10 metres depth. Just before the second we heard a call over the radio. There was a whale shark not far away. The boat chugged off to enable us to catch a glimpse. When we arrived at the site it was reminiscent of D-Day. Boats with divers and snorkelers on were everywhere. It was easy to see where the big fish was, it had a trail of demented snorkellers after it. We jumped in with just our masks to try and catch a glimpse. I was 10 seconds too late and was only able to see a diver below me.

The next day we completed our training with two fun dives. The first was down to 18m, the maximum we are allowed to go. It was pretty deep, despite not sounding it. The pressure is almost 3x the pressure on the surface. Through the murk we could make out reef sharks about 10m below us. The biggest was about 3m in length.

We completed our training with a second dive where we saw a scorpion fish, moray eel and clown fish amongst other things. I've decided to start my advanced training straight away. Tomorrow we will do our first unsupervised fun dive followed by an adventure night dive. I will then do 4 other courses including navigation and deep diving to go down to a depth of up to 30 metres.


Tough Stuff this overlanding!

10mm is all it takes.

The HUBB meeting in Chiang Mai was a good event to make a few contacts with fellow overlanders as well as some of the local ExPats who ride out here. I met Jeff who runs a bike shop and we agreed to go on a trail ride out together a few days later. Morgan came along too to make up a gang of two KTM's and one Suzuki DRZ 400.

The HUBB meet

Jeff had a puncture on the ride there so we popped along to the X-Centre, where hungover backpackers like to throw themselves off a crane with an elastic band strapped to their ankles or down a hill in a big inflatable ball.
There were a couple of Pirelli tyres there which would have been suitable for the KTM at £80 for the pair, despite being 10mm undersize on the width. I decided that I would pop back the next day to get them fitted. We all though that 10mm would not make a huge difference.

Back on the dirt at last and despite describing himself as a 'Gentleman Trail Rider', that DRZ can shift. I had fun skidding round corners due to the lack of tread on my existing tyres but succeeded in riding off-road quite quickly without falling off. I was rather pleased with myself.

The next day I popped back to the X-Centre's workshop to change my rubber and stick some heavier fork oil in. The tyres seemed ok despite feeling a little twitchy but I put that down to needing to wear them in a bit.

Sending the lads off to change the tyres, balls to using my tyre levers!

On the ride back into town as I was riding in the outside lane of a dual carriageway in case some bugger pulled out from a side road without looking and some bugger on a scooter pulled out from a side road without looking. I had no warning. The scooter just rode straight across the main road without even looking. If I had been a Thai 4x4 they would have been killed. Luckilly I was a Fallang on a big bike but still T-Boned them and down we all went in a screech of tyres and scraping plastic. I picked myself up off the floor, rather angry, and mouthed off a bit. The scooter was being ridden by a Thai woman who was wearing a helmet. The man, who I think was her husband, on the back had managed to do a complete somersault over my bike but was completely un-injured thanks to the baseball cap that was protecting his skull. He immediately jumped up, shook my hand, then started directing traffic around the scene.

I moved my bike out the road and went back to tend to the woman. She had a sore hip so an ambulance was rung and she was carted off. A policeman also arrived at the scene and indicated that we had to wait for the traffic police. I waited with 'the husband' who seemed unconcered about his missus. His breath stunk of alcohol and he kept shaking my hand. Having heard stories of Westerners involved in accidents where the blame is placed entirely on them despite the circumstances I was wary. 'If you weren't here the accident wouldn't have happened' is apparently the post event report. The policeman wanted to see my driving license so I showed it to him but kept a firm grip so he couldn't confiscate it. I also made sure my keys were safely hidden away.

Eventually the traffic police arrived, took some photos, wrote something in their big book of accidents, asked for my mobile number, told me they would call in a few days, then buggered off. I think they could see that the guy who had been on the back was a bit worse for wear and maybe thought he was the rider. He also hopped on his scooter and wobbled off, leaving me on my own with my damaged bike. Thanks guys! You are a credit to the Thai police force! I counted myself lucky that I had not been carted off to jail though.

The forks were slightly twisted so I got out my tools to re-align them. I had also lost my right wing mirror at last. It has taken some previous abuse before deciding to give up. Whilst tinkering I met a guy who had flown his small plane from Germany to Thailand. That sounded like a paperwork nightmare, especially since he had also brought his dog.

On the way back to the hostel I could hear some rattling from the front and discovered that my headlight had been smashed. I had wondered where the glass in the road had come from and was dissapointed that my Touratech headlight protector was seemingly unable to provide protection from people's heads.

At least I had learnt a new lesson. Despite all my problems on the trip and no matter how stressed I get I always learn something.

The next day Jeff had organised a big bike ride out, eventually getting to the Burmese border to do a visa run. In no particular order there was a Triumph Bonneville, Triumph Tiger, Africa Twin, Harley and Honda Hornet. On the highways I was left behind on the KTM, not having the same top speed, but I could just about keep up with some of the other bikes in the corners. The new tyres felt ok, if a little twitchy. We stopped after a hundred km or so and I discovered my bash plate had lost 4 bolts and was thus only secured by one. The first time that had ever happened.

We stopped that night in Nan and proceeded the next day to Chiang Rai along some quiet country roads. Whilst coming round one corner Jeff decided to stop to take a photo. The Harley in front of me slowed and went round him momentarily blocking my view of Jeff. I braked, not too hard and the front skidded and tucked under on some gravel. I almost ploughed straight into the back of Jeff but he heard me coming and moved forwards a bit more. Apart from a bit of road rash everything was ok. I noticed that I had even captured the event on camera. At least I had learnt another lesson, don't try to keep up and ride too close to your limit. It's very easy when riding with the pack to want to keep the rear brake lights of the guy in front in your sights, especially since I usually ride alone.

Jeff demonstrates which side is supposed to be up when cornering.

We proceeded further on along the roads, this time I was taking it easy. As I rounded one corner coming down a hill I saw the rest of the guys pulled over. I guessed that someone else had had an off so started to slow down. Before I knew it the front had once again tucked under and I was on my arse on the floor. More gravel but I also had another idea as to what was causing it now...

The other biker who had wiped out was One-Armed West. A very good rider on his Honda Hornet despite having only his right arm for control. He had come round the corner and slid on some gravel. His bike had shot 15 foot down the hill after taking out a concrete bollard and he had come to rest 5 feet further down the hill, just missing a crop of freshly cut bamboo.

Mr West plays hide and seek.

He was dragged back up the hill and managed to scare the local populus who had turned up to help when his fake arm popped off. His bike was pulled back up the hill too and loaded into the back of a local pickup truck. He also jumped in the front and was whisked back home to Chiang Mai. Seemingly all he had was a busted hand and some bruising.

A bloody lucky escape!

When we arrived in Chiang Mai we drank and danced the night away then tried to get up early the next morning so that those that had to could nip across the Burmese border on their visa run.

I managed to convince the border guards to let me take my bike across for an hour since I also needed new paperwork for the bike as well as myself. I was waved out of Thailand and let into Burma. A not very official looking offical in an office made me pay 50p for insurance for my bike. At another office some more people made me pay 50p again for what they seemed to describe as a permit for my bike. They then wanted about 40p for a scrap of paper with my registration number written on it. I got bored with the 'paying for paper' game so took it and just rode off. A policeman told me I was only allowed about 5km into Burma so off I went expecting to find a checkpoint down the road. 10km later and there was no checkpoint so I stopped in a field to take a photo of a confused looking man with some cows. I then rode back to the border.

Although I didn't venture very far, Burma seemed like a cross between Cambodia and India. Road rules were out the window and the horn is man's greatest invention. At least I had earned a sticker for the bike. I've now ridden in every adjacent country between here and the UK.

New sticker covering up the road rash.

I rode back to Chiang Mai and straight to a guesthouse. I was shattered so pretty much went straight to bed. The next day I went to treat my bike to a good clean at the local Shell petrol station. I also wanted to change my tyres back to my well work Metzlers which had lasted since Iran. Despite being only 10mm smaller and looking fine, the Pirrelli's just weren't grippy enough, also possibly since they were a slightly harder compound. I also repaired my headlight and various other bits. I'm becoming a master of bodgery. Thankyou to Ian for letting me use his workshop!

I'm going to set off South tomorrow. I think I've overstayed my welcome in Northern Thailand. It's too easy to travel here. I need some stress and adventure again.

Bordering Insanity

I got up early the next day. I had been given directions to a farm where there were lots of cow bones. My plan was to get a set of horns to attach to my bike to neutralise the effect of the tigers and squeaky horn. Upon arrival I was greeted by rather a apprehensive herd of cows standing next to a cage of their brethren's bones and carcasses. I decided against getting a set of horns since they looked a bit too maggoty.

Before

After

I then rode North along the same racetrack road that I had ridden last time with Carlos. It was still fantastic.

Together once again, we attempted to visit a long necked tribe village. We followed signs along some dirt tracks and came to an army border post. The soldier on duty was reading a paper but explained to us that the Burmese border was a couple of hundred meters further on.

A lady in a shack wanted 500Baht for us to see the long necked tribes people. We decided against paying for the privilege of taking photos of people.

There was a bridge, it was just more fun to ride through the river.

We set off then to the 'fish caves'. It turned out to be a hollow in a rock with some big fish in it. Pretty much any slightly out of the ordinary feature of the landscape is a big tourist attraction around here.

We camped that night in Pai and set off the next day to follow the Burmese border North. We explored many small mountain roads and camped down a dirt track about 200 metres from the Burmese border according to my GPS. George attempted to set a hammock up between mine and his bike and just ended up pulling mine over.

Whilst creeping through the jungle clutching my roll of toilet paper the next morning on my way to perform my daily ablutions I was wary of any border patrols who might literally catch me with my pants down.

Before we descended from the mountains we took a gander at a big golden buddha and a small fat white one.

Once again we followed a border road and ended up in a very small village with paved roads. An irritated dog with too many pups was the only thing that greeted us.

Shortly after lunch we discovered a burmese military outpost. This was literally the border with Burma. The Burmese had craftily erected sharpened bamboo poles together with tin cans to deter any invasion attempts. The Thai's countered this threat by reversing their giant Humvees with with 50 cal machineguns into covertly into bushes where they could monitor their foes.

George popped over the ditch next to said base to have a look down the hill. Someone shouted out from the Burmese side so we quickly hotfooted away before being arrested as British spies.

A covertly dressed British spy creeping into Burma.

We headed up for a gander at the golden triangle, the cornerstone of Myanmar, Thailand and Laos and what was once the hubb of the Opium trade.

A man from a small shop selling cold drinks demonstrated that it is actually possible to milk a cat. I had always wondered. Strangely the proprietor and the cat looked rather pleased with themselves.

We then followed the Mekong in an attempt to find a beach to camp on. Annoyingly all the good ones seemed to be on the Laos side. We slept in small raised hut used by farmers for their lunch breaks. George reversed over a plastic irrigation pipe so we had to fix it with gaffa tape and rubber gloves. For some reason none of us got a very good nights sleep on the wooden decking.

'Don't worry Morgan, I'm a plumber!'

We headed on down to Chiang Mai stopping at petrol stations to look cool.


At one scenic stop we observed some Thai army scouts being drilled whilst standing in a river whilst confused picnickers looked on. Must be another attempt to fool the Burmese.

Just short of Chiang Mai my bike turned 80,000km old. Thats a lot for a single cylinder thumper. A rebuild will be required in Oz.

In Chiang Mai we met Adam, an Israeli going round the world on a BMW HP2, one cool looking bike. A BMW boxer twin engine in an enduro chassis with a dry weight of only 170kg. Pure offroad power. Me likes!

We went for a Traditional Thai massage. It was more like a beating. I never knew my feet could touch the back of my head.


Tonight is a Horizons Unlimited meeting, there are a few overlanders in town so it will be good to share stories and photos.

 
And despite the horrendous amount of time it takes me, I'm trying to add photos with my entries from now on. Here's are a few artsy shots I did on a beach.

 

 

Breakfast In Burma

The parts I had been waiting for arrived just in time, a new chain and sprocket set and some new front brake pads, thanks to Darren at Redline in the UK for sending stuff once again.

Once everything was sorted, together with yet more crazy modifications, a new chain oiling device - the mechanic must be fed up of creating crazy contraptions for me, I set off back to the the tourist area. Whilst sat having a beer with Marc who should happen to wander past but John and Bev, a couple from the UK on their way to New Zealand. It's funny how we overlanders keep bumping into one another unexpectedly.

I set off early the next morning with just enough time to get to the Burmese border before my visa expired. Although I could have extended it in Bangkok it would have cost me about 30 Euros, plus I couldn't be bothered with the hassle.

I arrived in Mae Sot after about 600km on the road and found a cheap guesthouse, a room with a bed and a fan. The next morning I left my luggage in the room to pop over the border for an hour and get a new visa.

At the border I was told that I wasn't allowed to take my bike over by the Thai immigration, I think I was, but they couldn't be bothered with the paperwork. I set off on foot over yet another 'friendship bridge' and was immediately joined by a Burmese man who started telling me things about Burma.

He pointed out the people crossing the river below on their daily commute to work from Burma to Thailand in giant tractor tyre inner tubes. They Thai's had conveniently built some concrete steps to facilitate their illegal commute. Apparently it costs 30 Baht to get across. I might try it sometime.

The other way from Burma into Thailand

About halfway over the bridge and I was beginning to wonder whether he would want money for being my guide, so I asked him. He said he did not and we walked the rest of the way to the checkpost in awkward silence where he promptly disappeared.

At the immigration office I had to pay 500 Baht (10Euros) for my visa. The officer proudly handed me a scrap of paper with my passport number scribbled on it. They would keep my passport until I returned.

I trudged off in full motorcycle gear to explore the dusty, noisy border town. Once again the locals wondered who the oddly dressed idiot was. I just smiled like the idiot I was.

I found a coffee shop so sat people watching for half an hour. A lot of the Burmese had ochre coloured face paint on. Others seemed to have half wiped it off so they looked unwashed.

I exchanged 100 Thai Baht for an unknown exchange rate and was given a few notes in exchange. This was plenty to pay for some cigar type things they were selling and a fried samosa. I still don't know what's in the cigars, they looked similar to Cuban ones but have rolled leaves inside. It wasn't until after I had crossed back into Thailand that I realised I may have smuggled some sort of drug across. It turns out that after trying them with Morgan and George that they are just very bad cigars akin to eating a piece of charcoal.

I quickly got bored of wondering round in the increasing heat and traffic chaos and set off back to the border. Burma is indeed the missing link between India and Thailand. I handed back my 'visa' in return for my passport and was armed with a fresh 15 day Thai visa on the other side of the bridge.

Back at the guesthouse I packed up my bike, went for a quick coffee and set off North along a road next to the Burmese border. I had originally planned to head to Sukkothai, some ancient ruins, but realising that there was a less travelled road decided to take that instead. Sukkothai can wait, once again, until I travel South again.

The road was almost perfect. Lots of twists and turns and a few potholes on the more remote stretches. For the first time ever I got travel sickness on a bike due to all the turns.

Tomorrow I will catch up with George and Morgan who are about 150km North of me and we will head up to the Golden Triangle, the corner of Laos, Thailand and Burma, for a gander. I shall also try to get deeper into Burma at some point, possibly from one of the border crossings further South.

Also at some point I intend to write a detailed description of why I hated India. I have had many arguments and conversations with people on the subject. It seems it's the country people either love or love to hate.

There Is No Snow Here!

We explored Ko Chang on our bikes. The other western tourists there attempted to do the same on rented scooters. A lot of them failed and fell off whilst wearing only shorts and sandals. We got some funny looks for wearing full bike gear, they bragged to each other over broken arms and sprained ankles.

Whilst Morgan and I were trying to circumnavigate the island using an old abandonned road we came across a completely isolated beach. It was polulated by a Thai man who lived in a hammock with a big stick to poke down the abundant coconuts from the palms and 3 germans who had only managed to get there in a boat.

There was a small tidal lagoon and Morgan and I frollicked in the current. Whilst Morgan attempted to dig a big hole, I set off on a mission to capture a hermit crab on a rock. I succeeded, but slipped and got a nasty gash on my toe. I stood on the rock for 10 minutes, bleeding profusely and pondering how to disembark without causing further injury. I failed and fell off anyway slicing my foot open even more. I was now able to blend in with the other tourists as I limped around.

New Years Eve saw a huge party on the beach to celebrate the blue moon. I'm sure the moon was impressed with all the drunken teenagers dancing to trance music until dawn.

George, Mena, Morgan and I set off back to Bangkok a few days later, we decided to pop down Koa San road, the major tourist district for a bit of attention and a beer.

I stayed back at Apple Guesthouse where Marc turned up the next day. After speaking to Carlos on New Years Eve he is racing down South to Australia since he only has 2 months left before he needs to be back home.

I showed Marc and Dirk (another German overlander) to Red Baron. We passed through a police roadblock where they tried to wave us over. Not being in the mood to have to pay money for we kept going. Bikes are supposed to keep to the left and ride in the gutter, a perfectly safe place to ride at 50 mph! There are no distinctions between scooters and big bikes that can actually out perform cars here. There is also no concept of advanced defensice riding from the police. We managed to ride through the same roadblock 3 times, each time riding around a policeman who jumped in front of the bikes.

We explored many of the shopping malls and once again spent much too much money. Elvis (a KTM rider who I met in Rishikesh in India) and I got stickers made for our bikes. I now have the flags of all the countries on the front of the bike like a decorated veteran soldier's ribbons.

I visited an overly expensive aquarium for something to do whilst I waited for my new chain and sprockets to arrive from the UK. I was particularly impressed with the golfish tank made from a microwave. I got a fish foot massage, where small fish will eat the dead skin from your feet. I caused a frenzy in the tank with an iritated mosquito bite which they loved, so much so that they caused it to bleed.

Myy old chain and sprockets are in serious need of replacing after being dragged down the road in Northern Thailand. The replacements have been delayed due to carrier incompetence and the weather in Europe, but I have just literally recieved word that they have arrived so I am off to battle the traffic and police and head on to Red Baron so that I can set off North.

Happy New Year!